Wednesday, March 21, 2012

a quote on parenting

And just at that moment, Leone started to cry his pitiful not-so-little falling asleep cry. I have never understood the heartless Ferber people who let their kids “cry it out.” If you are inclined to view your three-month-old infant’s cries as “manipulative,” as a means of discovering if she can get you to come into the room and pick her up “on command,” then you should rethink parenthood in the first place. I don’t think you are mature enough, frankly. An infant, to be sure, can’t haul herself downstairs and help herself to a glass of water, can’t call upon a good friend at two in the morning to discuss the finer points of her fears and anxieties. I feel compelled—involuntarily compelled—to pick up and try to comfort my child when I hear him wailing. My hormones shake like a passing tank when I hear children—children on an airplane not even my own—wailing in distress. I long to just pick them up and comfort the little guys. After all, they are crying. I am going to assume they are crying for a good reason—even if it’s just an infant’s run-of-the-mill: Pick me up and hold me because I’m afraid of falling asleep because sleep is like death. For me, that is good enough reason to pick up and hold my kid, so that he may feel—at a minimum—accompanied to his perceived death by someone who gives a shit.

Gabrielle Hamilton
Blood, Bone & Butter


TyAnne said...

Three weeks ago I added this book to my Kindle Library ... can't wait to read it! Almost done w/ Cutting for Stone. Have you read it? It's amazing! And btw the Ferber Method saved my life w/ baby #1 (and my hubbies) after only one night of trying it out! Baby #2 wasn't an issue. Hard to believe out of the same womb yet so different, isn't it? Keep writing!

jess weliwitigoda said...

Ty - I haven't read Cutting for Stone, but I would love to. I've heard great things.

Blood, Bone & Butter is so good I want to read it again - for the first time! I absolutely adore her writing.

Have you read The Namesake?

I am constantly amazed how different my girls are. Like night and day. One is spicy and the other is sweet.

TyAnne said...

Yes I LOVED The Namesake. I've read just about all the books by Rohinton Mistry (Family Matters was my favorite.) I'm slogging through The Hare with the Amber Eyes on my Kindle before I treat myself to Blood, Bones, and Butter. I had to read it for book club, and everyone loved it except me. I'm addicted to Indian authors!!!

We call Barrett 'sweet & sour'.

Looking forward to the lake ... probably heading up there soon w/ this weird weather. The only benefit of climate change/global warming is an earlier opening date a the cabin! Hope to see you there sometime ...